Whatchamacallits and their real names

Tenesmus

Use: “Can I please use your bathroom? I have a serious case of tenesmus.”

Tenesmus is the uncomfortable feeling one has when needing to poop. It also refers to the feeling of having not emptied the bowel fully or the need to strain to do so. To put it more simply, tenesmus is a distressing but ineffectual urge to evacuate the rectum or bladder. The word, appropriately, comes to us from the Greek “teinesmos” which means “to stretch” or “to strain”.

Podsnap

Use: “Kanye West is a total podsnap – he thinks he is awesome when he is actually a douche.”

A podsnap is a person who is self-satisfied and can’t face up to unpleasant facts. The word is an eponym (the name of a person after whom something else is named) for the character Mr John Podsnap in Charles Dickens’ “Our Mutual Friend” – needless to say Mr Podsnap has the characteristics from which his name is taken.

Hibernaculum

Use: “As winter approaches, the bear goes in search of its hibernaculum.”

Hibernaculum is the name given to the cave or area in which an animal hibernates. The word is a Latin one which means “tent for winter quarters”. It is now also an English word but has moved its frame of reference from the human world to the animal world.

Muliebrity

Use: “Rosie O’Donnell has all the muliebrity of a block of wood.”

The term muliebrity means “womanly attributes”. For example, it might be said that Michael Jackson had a touch of muliebrity while Rosie O’Donnell lacks it. The term can also be understood as the state of being an adult woman.

Don Juanism

Use: “The majority of teenaged males on the internet suffer from Don Juanism.”

Don Juanism is the term used to describe an obsessive preoccupation with sexual gratification or conquest which often leads to transient and sometimes exploitative relationships. The term comes, of course, from Don Juan, the legendary libertine who spends much of his time trying to seduce women.